[TT 010] Limiting stories, city-less citizens, therapy apps, connection
Hey there,
It’s a pleasure to connect with you in your inbox this week.
This marks my tenth Thriving Thursday and the experience has been deeply meaningful so far. Thank you for being a part of this journey and I look forward to growing together well into the future.
In other news, I got my second Moderna shot earlier this week and it was a doozy for me. Grateful that it worked and simply sitting with the discomfort of exactly what that means in my body.
Well then, let’s get right to it. This week’s Thriving Thursday!
On the therapy of empowering narratives
💬 🛑 Yesterday marked the end of Write of Passage and, despite my misgivings on much of the language, I am very pleased and grateful I took the course.
In our final session, many people shared how they found the experience transformative. I deeply honor the power of any container that empowers individuals to let go of that which no longer serves.
Throughout the various breakouts and especially on the final shares, I noticed that the people most touched were those that were able to acknowledge and release limiting narratives in their lives. The “struggle to publish” dynamic reminds me of the externalization technique in narrative therapy - our behaviors are an externalized reflection of the stories we tell ourselves. For these people, publishing their work changed a deep narrative that seemed to hold them back. I suspect that, writing aside, this sense of empowerment will carry forward into other aspects of their lives.
There are many narratives we tell ourselves that can limit our Thriving. I’m starting to keep a list, and here are a few I’ve noted so far from observing the conversations in WoP:
- I am not worthy (of attention / care / support)
- I am not capable (of writing / publishing / achieving)
- I am not good enough (in my English / in my skills / in my being)
- I have nothing to offer (my ideas suck / are boring)
- I do not trust myself (to be consistent, to follow through)
- I am afraid to fail (= afraid to be vulnerable)
Do any of these resonate with your experience? What limiting narratives have you observed in your life or in your communities?
Understanding limiting narratives can help shine a light on how to release them.
On offline cities with digital citizens
🏢 🌐 In Write of Passage, the teacher David Perell often talks about “citizens of the internet” and that got me thinking about what it even means to be a citizen.
First observed in French in the 1300s, a citizen means “an inhabitant of a city” with subtexts of civilian (non public service) freedom. That “city” is inherently bound by geography, and its citizen bound by the social contract with the city’s ruling body.
So far, cities (states, and countries) have been ruled by “public” government entities. Recently, a new experiment in “private” charter city launched in Honduras called Prospera.
The premise is to create a business-friendly economic zone with digital citizens that can come to work and, maybe later, live on site. The local charter allows Prospera to have different laws that govern how business is done in their small slice of Eden.
I am skeptical about many aspects of this plan, but I am curious about how this concept could evolve with a triple-bottom line city charter.
What would it look like to have the B-Corporation of cities? How would we organize differently if cities were held accountable to a stated environmental & social standard? What would that standard look like if we could start fresh with the best of diversity, equity, and justice thinking built from the ground up?
I’m also curious about the experiment of having non-local, “digital” citizens. What does it even mean for an individual to be an “online citizen” outside of the metaverse of OASIS?
This reminded me of the book Building a Life Together where author Diana Christian goes through a detailed and hyper-tactical breakdown of creating an eco-village from the ground up. Even with 5-10 people, there are staggering considerations for localized governance - scale that to thousands or more, then add a digital component, and it’s hard for me to grasp the required complexity.
As I reflect on acquiring land and curating a community for the Global Institute for Thriving, I’ll be learning more about these various governing structures and land stewardship philosophies.
On the craziness of therapy apps
🛋 📱 Are you feeling frustrated and like you need some support? There’s an app for that.
Just don’t expect the app to help.
I found this article very insightful commentary on the recent rise of marketplace model and AI therapy apps.
What had begun with a sense of bounty evocative of dating apps ended with a sense of frustrated disconnection evocative of dating apps.
I agree that having some support is better than none at all. But the commodification and transactional, always on nature being sold by these therapy matchmakers is neither honest nor supportive for those seeking help. And it really takes a toll on the therapists on the other side of the relationship.
I fundamentally believe there is an honest, honorable way to offer supportive care with telehealth. One that lifts up the client while also appropriately valuing the training and guidance of the therapist. Unless the "swipe right" therapy app model changes, it’s hard for me to see how this can sustain for the long run.
On optimizing for connection
🔗 🤝 Perhaps my biggest value and takeaway from Write of Passage is recognizing why I feel so draw to writing online at all: to resonantly connect with others.
I choose to optimize my writing for bridge building (over audience building) and connection (over monetization).
This can take so many forms, and all of them have meaning to me. Some of you have responded with loving care and support for my health. Others have responded with wonderful suggestions and intellectual curiosities. Others still have sent deep dive materials to help me further explore Thriving in all its many facets.
I warmly welcome your thoughts and responses. It may take me some time, but I personally read and follow up with every outreach.
Whatever the future may hold, I know that it is brighter when we are kind, caring, and connected together. I look forward to exploring every dimension of Thriving with all of you.
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Perhaps it's just the shoulder-poke drugs speaking, but this Spring I sense a rebirth of pandemic proportions. Soon, we will be able to gather in person, to hug our loved ones, and to share meals freely. Soon, we will lift our eyes from the horizon to the skies as we consider how we choose to rebuild in the wake of so much loss.
In countless many ways, the expectations of yester-year have been scrambled beyond recognition. In the words of Winston Churchill:
Never let a good crisis go to waste.
I release any judgement of good or bad, but I willfully take on the responsibility to not waste the once in many lifetimes opportunity that is uniquely present today.
With unlimited stories of connection and care,
~Henry