[TT 021] addiction root, 12 levels of friends, thinking clearly, waves in the woods
Hi there Thrivers,
Today I'm writing from the grandeur (and heat) of 200 acres abutted by a large condor preserve. This off-grid ranch is owned by my dear friends and it's been nothing short of wonderful to connect, share our cherished memories, and witness the beauty of this land.
Before leaving Colorado and throughout this road trip to my next chapter, I've had lots of space to reflect. Over and over, I am humbled in gratitude for the remarkable people in my life.
And with the deepest gratitude, let's roll into to this week's Thriving Thursday.
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On the root cause of addiction
This past week concluded Gabor Mate's Wisdom of Trauma week-long conference and the release of his recent movie. Given my growing interest in addiction clinics, he's been coming up in conversation a lot and this week I started listening to his seminal book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
I am deeply moved and inspired by his humanizing approach to individuals who find themselves struggling with behaviors or substances that cause harm (read: pretty much all of us). In short, addiction is a response to manage pain and societal dislocation. Moreover, the criminalization of, and the war on, drugs vilifies and punishes humans who have disproportionately experienced trauma in their life.
In addition to humanizing and sharing stories, Mate also has a clear and coherent vision for how to improve our societal and healthcare systems to actually care for and support those most in need. I look forward to digging more into his work and his philosophy to understand how it can serve in the vision of GIFT.
On the Arabic 12 levels of friendship
As I've traveled these last few weeks, I have been reflecting on the nature of friendship and companionship. I often struggle with accurately communicating the nuance and specificity of certain relationships beyond the vapidly inadequate "acquaintance" and "friend" monikers.
So I was delighted to stumble on a recent Twitter post that highlighted exactly the various qualities and characteristics of 12 levels of friendship in the Arabic language. I don't agree with the implied superiority of this visual hierarchy, but the graphic is illustrative.
I feel very fortunate to have people in each of the top 3 segments (as well as plenty more in the segments below). The connection I feel in my relationships is a gift and a powerful reflection for my ongoing growth.
Do you find any levels of friendship that are missing from this 12 step program?
On how to understand clearly
One of my friends and I recently discussed how to communicate clearly, especially in moments of conflict or tension. I offered one of my favorite practical books, Getting to Yes, that has proven infinitely more valuable in my personal relationships than in business negotiations (though there as well).
In return, he offered this article on How to Think Clearly by Tom Chatfield. I especially resonated with the sentiment
the ultimate prize isn’t being right, gratifying though this might be. It’s being understood.
There are some good nuggets in there and I have found thinking and communicating in a way that facilitates understanding is critical for connecting with self and others. Chatfield has some good suggestions and insights to aid in a thinking clearly practice
The better I get at addressing underlying assumptions and communicating for understanding and connection, the better I can serve the Thriving path through UTT and GIFT. And, most importantly, the more effective I can be at empowering Thriving in others.
On waves of wood in the forest
German artist Jörg Gläscher was feeling the angst of COVID isolation and channeled that into an art project in the woods. He used sticks and branches to create undulating wave forms in a secluded forest near Hamburg. Here is one example:
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I bow in recognition of all those struggling to adapt to and manage pain on their path. And I recognize the importance of community, connection, and friendship for a space of belonging. May we all find ways to Thrive together as one.
Until next week,
~Henry